I am NOT a VICTIM!!! I am a SURVIVOR!!!

Yesterday I realized the significance and importance of declaring that I am a survivor and NOT a victim! During my therapy session, as I discussed the Sandusky case and how the news took me back to the time when I was abused, i struggled with finding a term to reference when discussing how I felt. During the exchange with my psychologist, I realized that the term survivor "feels" much better than the term victim.

I read @goldietaylor's posts over the last several days as she revealed that she had been sexually abused by a high school football coach. One of her tweets mentioned that she never wanted to be considered "a victim." I can totally relate because I feel the same way. Though its hard to explain, I don't consider myself a victim of child sex abuse. I do, however, consider myself a survivor. some may say its minor definition and meaning. I disagree.

There is something to be said about a "survivor" versus a "victim." I personally prefer the former. I at least gives me peace of mind knowing that I made it through and over that horrific time in my life. It allows me to express myself to others knowing they can survive such situations also. I hope the children involved in the current sex abuse cases realize they are survivors and that they are worthy of surviving. They have a story to tell as do many others who have experienced the same.

Have you or anyone you know been involved in a child abuse situation? If so, have you overcome the situation? How did you overcome? If not, what do you feel is holding you back from overcoming that situation?

Be Blessed,

DADT Story

Audacity of a Sex Abuser (Sandusky)!

Last night when I listened to the Sandusky interview it took me back to the day I confronted my abuser. I can remember the look on his face when he said, "I'm not saying you are not telling the truth, but..." And so goes the story... I immediately cut him off and finished what I'd come to do, confront him, forgive him, and release him to the universe and God. That confrontation was something I'd prayed about for years and finally had the courage and strength to face my abuser.

Of course Sandusky is innocent until proven guilty (in a court of law). However, his candid denial of any wrong doings leads me to believe he is guilty (based on my personal experience). If he is, in fact, guilty he just re-assaulted all those innocent children by denying his actions. Why would a child (so many children) make up such stories? Why would adults make accusations about horrible things this man did to helpless children?

In the end, the denial matters not. What matters are the children (families) and their well being. I say to the children, be strong and courageous. Confront and release (if and when you can). Don't let the predator have the power or get the victory.

Be Blessed,

DADT Story

Shhh...Maybe DADT will quietly go away...

Haven't heard much about DADT and the repeal lately? Me either! Its been a quiet transition to life after the repeal of DADT. On one hand, it seems senior leaders may have anticipated a flurry of gay military service personnel posting pictures of girlfriends and boyfriends. It seems to be quite the opposite.

On the other hand, many gay service members are, plainly, frightened that the repeal may be "repealed." After all, legislation can be changed as we've recently witnessed. I personally haven't changed a thing. The way I do business is the way I do business. I have always been a very private person and have no desire to post pictures or share my partner with the military. Perhaps its because I'm a little older and joined the military prior to DADT. Perhaps I've grown accustomed to hiding who I really am. Or perhaps, it really didn't make a difference in the first place.

One change that's missing, in my opinion, is the access to benefits for gay, lesbian, and transgender service member's partners and spouses. If we are to get to a point of inclusion and transparency for LGBT service members, the military must provide access to the same benefits as heterosexual service members.

While many individuals are of the mindset that LGBT service members should simply be happy with the repeal of DADT, there are many people who are fighting for additional rights and benefits as well.

One can only hope and pray that the US military will continue to evolve.

DADT Story