This past week Don Lemon effectively "outed" himself on national television.
I just watched his interview with Dr. Drew on HLN, and Mr. Lemon discussed his childhood and the sexual abuse he experienced growing up. While I was disappointed to hear Mr. Lemon say his book is actually NOT about his coming out, but more about his journey to "success," I applaud him, nonetheless. The fact that he's playing a key role in starting the discussion about such controversial topics is what is relative at this juncture.
Interestingly, I just finished reviewing/editing the first two chapters of my book, Didn't Ask, Didn't Tell™ (©2010) which is my memoir and I discuss the many instances of DADT that occurred throughout my life to include serving the military in the "closet."
What I found particularly interesting while watching HLN this evening was the discussion between Mr. Lemon and Dr. Drew concerning the Black community and the discussion (or lack thereof) of homosexuality and sexual abuse. I too, am a victim of sexual abuse and I, sadly, have to concur with Mr. Lemon. The Black community does not openly discuss either sexual abuse or homosexuality in a healthy manner. Though there is much blame and finger-pointing, the environment for healthy and open debate is, in my opinion, nonexistent.
I actually discuss sexual abuse and my horrifying experience in my upcoming novel. I reflect on the fact that I now think my failure to deal with my sexual abuse has impacted me mentally, physically, and spiritually, over the past several years. The sad thing is the Black community (speaking in very general terms) often relates homosexuality and sexual abuse, suggesting the former is caused by the latter. The Black community is doing itself a great dis-service.
Though two very different topics, sexual abuse and homosexuality are often inter-related, especially when people are trying to find "blame" for one's sexual preference. However, as Mr. Lemon has mentioned in his TV interviews recently, the two topics are not related for some homosexuals. I'm not a professional and I dare not attempt to suggest whether there is a correlation between the two.
What I will do, however, is challenge the Black community to begin to have an open dialogue about sexual abuse and homosexuality. This discussion (not debate) should take place in the community, churches, and other professional organizations.
As I tweeted a few days ago, I applaud Don Lemon for "outing" himself in such an open forum. He has opened the door for discussion and truth.
2 comments:
it makes me cringe to think of ppl linking sexual abuse with homosexuality, or any other issue, for that matter.
in my experience, ppl point blame at the victim because they tend to feel some responsibility in the abuse... (the mother who dated/ married the abuser, the parent who didn't believe their child, the friend who didn't help... )
i think that the black community fails to discuss sexual abuse, homosexuality, the intersection of spirituality and sexuality, mental illness and therapy... and any other issue in a healthy manner because (we) have such allegiance to (and misunderstanding of) strength. not to make excuses but much of (our) struggle and history has been around survival. there is simply no room for higher level thinking or operation until one has mastered survival.
Thanks for your comment. I agree with you and think the discussions dont take place for many reasons.
Your point about "allegiance to strength" is an excellent observation. People want to be perceived as strong and not needing assistance or help...well, we know what happens when we dont get the help (medical or otherwise) we need.
In my opinion, that's a part of mastering survival...facing our fears and dealing with the pain of the past.
Thanks again,
DADT Novel
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